Bud Spencer & Terence Hill – Slaps and Beans Review

Plenty of beans and slaps, but nothing else worth mentioning.

Bud Spencer and Terrence Hill’s Slaps and Beans is an arcade beat-em-up game that saves you the trouble of looking up whoever Bud Spencer and Terrence Hills are. Depending on who you are, this may horrify you or cause you to have some peace of mind. That is, of course, until you finally get around to play the game. Then you’ll start to wonder why God has abandoned you and left you to play this instead.

Slaps and Beans’ story is thin, which is fine as I certainly wasn’t playing the game for its narrative, but the fighting system also doesn’t have much meat to it. You’ve got your regular attack, strong attack and the special attack that can be charged up, but apart from being able to throw your enemy, there isn’t much variety in combat. Sure, you can use the environment to help mix it up so you don’t get too bored, but that doesn’t stop it from being so simple it hurts. Increasing the difficulty does help, but not by much.

While the combat may not be your cup of tea, it is thankfully broken up by mini-games. A lot of mini-games. One moment you’re trying to put in the right sequence to eat as many sausages as you can, and then the next minute you’re racing around to win the girl back from the goons that kidnapped her. There is variety in these mini-games, and considering how repetitive Slaps and Beans combat can be, that’s very much appreciated.

But even the mini-games can’t save Slaps and Beans from slowly going stale as you progress. While there’s nothing wrong with being retro and acknowledging it with the gameplay, it doesn’t excuse how laggy the game actually is. There were times where I had to restart my Nintendo Switch because the game would go so slow it became unbearable. Trying it on my other Switch had the same result. To say it was unenjoyable is possibly the biggest understatement of the year.

Fortunately, co-op play can be fun and it is only then where combat doesn’t seem like such a chore. Teaming up with a friend and slapping the enemy, whilst the other of us punches, can lead to some small, but funny moments. It can also lead to heated arguments, as I learned when trying to beat my friend’s score. This goes to show that, in spite of Slaps and Beans’ many problems, it does allow for competitive fun between friends. Unfortunately, that’s where the fun ends.

It’s not that Slaps and Beans is atrocious. It just doesn’t have anything to offer that regular side-scroller, fighting games doesn’t already have to offer. What’s worse, in a time and place where video games are slowly telling more diverse, enjoyable stories with exciting gameplay, Slaps and Beans stands out as being a game that’s stuck in the past. And most certainly not in a good way.

Overall, only those who are really into their fighting games and want to embrace the admittedly gorgeous pixel art will find this game worth talking playing. For the rest of you? Go play Street Fighter instead. You’ll feel better.